adrienne maree, the luscious satyagraha

1. i recently had a conversation with some close friends about how early in life we became sexually active, wherein sexually active is defined as running around like a horny dog rubbing one’s self on anything and everything that might satisfy the mysterious urges Down There. as i listened i became aware that my activities started VERY EARLY. what does this mean????

2. i have recently awaken from tender nightmares with my computer right next to me, and i am beginning to worry about our relationship. i mean i get to talk about myself plenty which as far as i can tell is the key to good relationships…but my computer gets to frame everything! its a bit abusive to me that i only get to communicate to the outside world when SHE feels to connect, particularly as she is the gateway to internet porn and music and i mean, i spend most of my days with her head in my lap. but do i really know my computer? can i count on her not to blank out completely when i most need her?

3. am i the only person i know who will admit to loving internet porn? specifically the sites where you can get like 1 minute of free video? because yes, i have a short attention span even when it comes to watching porn. get me up and get me off, ya know…

4. at what point does a hole in one’s foot go from being a painful hindrance to an emergencia?

5. i think i am TOO excited to Not be going out of town this weekend. i mean its new york, its cold. not like i’m do anything particular here. my dream is to hang out with evans richardson the - III…or IV…or maybe V. something very regal. but he’s a busy brain, so one can only hope.

6. back to the sex stuff, and this may get a bit graphic but i’ve been conducting a casual poll [do not even try to imagine how amazing the results of a FORMAL poll of my inner circle would be!] and as far as i can tell there are a lot of positions that are exciting visually or as a concept, but nothing even comes close to the bump and grind of doggy style for men or women, gay or straight. if you have a different opinion, please holler at me, because it has me stumped on the possibilities for human evolution if, in our most private walls down spaces, all we really want is to be spanked and called dirty names and do the dirty doggy style.

7. how much is sex like crack?

8. and by that i mean the more you get the more you want?

9. or maybe i’m just going through a highly sexed up phase of adulthood that started when i was….extremely young?

10. am i a hypocrit to want to talk about sex whenever it comes to mind and really explore all of these pressing concerns but also not be boxed in the sex box in life? you know what the sex box is dontcha kids? its when you meet people and they assume that because you are into sex in theory and some practice that you will be into sex with them. NO MY CHILD. I AM NOT INTO SEX WITH YOU UNLESS I SAY I AM INTO SEX WITH YOU. DON’T PUT BABY IN A CORNER!

sigh. and its just wednesday morning! or is it tuesday? whatdafreaky.

so my stomach has calmed down….wooo. that was not pleasant! luckily i have jen and sofia in my life to take care of me soup and tea and backrubs and a couch and tv will make anyone feel better!

today a highlight - sophia wallace is the photographer who took my book photo and now her new site is up with some gorgeous spreads. http://sophiawallace.com/ - check it out!

on the other hand, i slept till noon today. my body feels weak and putting on clothes seems like a completely offensive concept. i am watching judge joe brown - justice is nuts. basically this whole show seems to be tired ass men who don’t pay their bills. i’d love to see some post show evaluation and how many folks actually pay afterwards…

in other tv news, last night’s laguna beach finale was severely disappointing, for those who watch. was i the only one like, ‘jason just tell lc you love her and want her back!’??? sigh. but sydney poitier on oprah was awesome! don’t be all shocked that i watch tv, i LOVE pop culture at least as much as i hate it. i just don’t watch it at my house, where we have officially got the rabbit ears back in place.

this has been a lyrical time, with some sarah stuff, some vivian green jams, and…breaking news, janine is alerting me to some awesome bono lyrics from the album achtung baby. i have to go and sit with that.  actually…you can sit with it too!

here we go:

sarah mclachlan’s answer -

I will be the answer
At the end of the line
I will be there for you
While you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance
If you can’t look down

If it takes my whole life
I won’t break, I won’t bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You’ll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a
Place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight

If it takes my whole life
I won’t break, I won’t bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
‘Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all burned out
You’ll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind

and bono’s/u2’s  ’so cruel’

We crossed the lineWho pushed who overIt doesn't matter to youIt matters to me

We're cut adriftBut still floatingI'm only hanging onTo watch you go downMy love

I disappeared in youYou disappeared from meI gave you everything you ever wantedIt wasn't what you wanted

The men who love you, you hate the mostThey pass right through you like a ghostThey look for you but your spirit is in the airBaby, you're nowhere

Oh...love...you say in love there are no rulesOh...love...sweetheart...You're so cruel

Desperation is a tender trapIt gets you every timeYou put your lips to her lipsTo stop the lie

Her skin is pale like God's only doveScreams like an angel for your loveThen she makes you watch her from aboveAnd you need her like a drug

Oh...love...you say in love there are no rulesOh...love...sweetheart...You're so cruel

She wears my love like a see-through dressHer lips say one thingHer movements something elseOh love...like a screaming flowerLove...dying every hour...love

You don't know if it's fear or desireDanger the drug that takes you higherHead in heaven, fingers in the mire

Her heart is racing, you can't keep upThe night is bleeding like a cutBetween the horses of love and lustWe are trampled underfoot 

Oh...love...you say in love there are no rulesOh...love...sweetheart...You're so cruel

Oh...love...to stay with you I'd be a foolSweetheart...you're so cruel

first of all, beautiful news, one of my beloveds, khari mosley, was named one of the top 40 under 40 people making an impact on pittsburgh. not surprised but happy they see it!

had some good conversations this week with people i love. to that end i say, who are you not in touch with that you need in your life? reach out.

now, action of the day, sign this petition: www.SaveTheCourt.org/StopAlito

club to join of the day: if you like progressive movies, go check out http://www.ironweedfilms.com/subscription?viapc=EM01CFF
- it’s like a netflix of progressive films! and if you don’t like progressive movies, who are you? why are you reading this blog?  leave me alone!

something else to watch: the boondocks! on adult swim!! yeah its funny!

and i am looking at my upcoming schedule i see i am gonna be out of ny a lot in the next month or so…anyone interested in subletting a sweet studio in new york for december?

my stomach is on a boat somewhere and i am feeling the effects of it today, feel hella seasick and i can’t do anything but lay on my back. and, anyone who interprets dreams HOLLA at ya girl. i have something i want deciphered…

its on

i sang at the union square awards. sofia santana, one of the best behind the scenes organizer minds in the country, put together another fabulous event and you know the union square awards are the best kind of thing  - giving young grassroots truly radical organizations a sizable, difference-making amount of money. iris morales asking me to sing - this goes down as one of the GREAT moments of my WHOLE life…so i opened it up with a song, come unto me all ye that labor…then sang this sweet honey song called the women gather (get raise your voice if you are looking for a sweet honey album) and then an original song and then omar freilla and his crew came up and drummed. the awardees, 15 of them, each had stories that opened you wide up.

stayed up late last night blazing near central park and relaxing in the afterglow of a lovely event. and today i spent the day at the baths with my girls dani and kat letting things come up and leave us. tonight i got to see jen kidwell perform in a fred ho show at BAM, her voice is this rich wet gift that cascades down over you into your roots and so marvelous…so its basically, so far, a perfect weekend.

PLUS i got some sweetness yestiday before the show from my favorite cuddle-bunny, and i will get to see my sister tomorrow. and i am broke, y’all, not even haha funny. something has to give, and i think its a charity, to me…

hope yours is sweet!

actually its the center of my foot - woe, woe, woe.

i’d like to send a shout-out to sofia n. santana, manager of my singing career, who told me she grew up with wooden floors and knew exactly how to extract a splinter. she told me this because i had a splinter. but the night when i turned to her, called her and said can you help me, she sounded sleepy and so, me being me, i went home and tried to do it myself.

i tried to do it by piecing together the snippets of information she had given me…sterilize a needle with heat or something and dig that sucker out…the bottom of the foot doesn’t hurt…tweezers?

i tried to do it by holding my foot in one hand and the needle in the other and rolling around for a good angle, jabbing at the most hurtingest part, and then looking at the growing mess in the mirror. i tried to do it self-medicated. i tried to do it past the pain and obvious mess of it.

result? i have spent the last period of time with a bit of a hole in the bottom of my foot, smiling through self-inflicted pain, and i am not sure after all of that if the splinter is out, and its starting to hurt again. so. if i get gangrene and die or lose my foot i would like for y’all to pour one out not for my missing fetishizable foot, but sofia n. santana and her guilt!

IN OTHER NEWS:

i went to see the great joshuagabriel last night. he is an artist who i have watched be up and coming for years, and his music is getting angrier and more political as his voice improves. it was exciting. i used to be his sidekick, so it was funny to be there watching the cycle of the artist and the circle of the artist; but it was cool. made me think, as many things do, of gwen stefani and knowing when you cool with someone.

this is the age of watching people you met in one iteration get all deep into another. the unexpected, the new loves, the family drama, the baby mama, the next phase…say a prayer for the ones you love to make it safe the CHANGE cause change is god’s kiss.

and a beloved told me today that i should go to law school. grrr. school.

i almost had an awesome post on the france riots today from a guest writer but alas, she wasn’t pleased with the quality…soon and soon! paris is burning.

here’s something to do this weekend:

wow the league really worked it out yesterday! www.indyvoter.org…the results are in and where we worked, we saw good good things!! on the path towards a progressive majority, takin no prisoners. terminator my bootay…arnold got shut DOWN at the cali polls in a way that makes me feel damn near giddy. propo-who? propo-what? big up to the oxnard and frisco leagues, as well as bernard and his crew in l.a. AND my girl alysia is now a city councilperson in oxford, ohio! VA went Blue in the governor’s seat! plus buffalo has its first black mayor! that almost makes me forget that we still have a white republican mayor here in the city of immigrants.

in other news, did i tell y’all i backed a hybrid into a wall in l.a.?  it was late, the alley was small, and i was so excited to be in this little hybrid. also i had been almost asleep for the entire three hour drive to l.a. and doing all those little stay awake things - pinching self, thinking hard thoughts, singing aloud to prince, drinking coffee, slapping face, reminding myself that the only person more tired than me was my passenger…but the alley wanted to cop a feel and i couldn’t resist…ouch. i really respect and love the owner and hope she has insurance.

i must have done something right because this week everytime i come on here someone new is requesting officialized friendship…is this my life?

yes - i got sent beyonce wedgie pictures today,
yes - i laid in bed the entire day working in a supine position and playing with toys (i keep blowable bubbles and a kalaidescope right by the bed!) and my hair is all sticking straight up the way only a day in bed can make it do…just right!
yes - its only wednesday in this game called life.

i got off the plane yesterday to an empty wallet and empty bank account. why, god? why? oh - cause i rented a car that placed a massive hold on my account? oh ok. well i guess i’ll count the quarters in the bottom of my bag and - 4, 4.50, 5.50, just enough to get the airtrain and subway to my neighborhood! i considered jumping the turnstyle but there were some people guarding it. but i then met with some folks looking to do interesting public finance campaigns in the next year and i am a fan of that plan, its time.

and now a moment for led zeppelin. i have liked lz from afar, but finally got two cds worth and i am rocking out all over the house with it on blast. also listening to m.i.a., esthero, madonna, dead prez, the new fiona (which sounds like old fiona but thats ok), and tons and tons of biggie. that boy had a dirty mouth.

i’m also listening to peyote ceremony songs, which a new friend was told i should learn.

in other news, am planning a dec 3rd party in solidarity with the actions in montreal around the global warming international meetings up there - lock it into your datebooks, should be a hot one.

and, my sweet beloveds, a reminder. it is winter, and so it is more important than ever to keep yourself hydrated and keep your skin moisturized. to that end:

1. drink more water than you currently do. but live your life like we’re in a water shortage (cause we are) and preserve water while showering, brushing teeth, washing dishes, flushing the toilet. i put a little nalgene bottle sized plastic container in my toilet which helps reduce the volume of each flush and i have joined the if its mellow let it yellow crew. it takes a while to shift the practice, but we waste SO much water flushing water.

2. also, one more way to be progressive - lotion LIBERALLY. tip for the cheap - get a really nice lotion that smells like you want to smell, then get something with no real scent that’s cheap and mix the two in your palm - a dab of the former and an isht-load of the latter. also, put it on right out of the shower - pat down and then lotion while skin is still moist. it holds better.

3. buff yourself! i’m learning a lot from the russians, and a major part of the lesson is that you should regularly discard the entire top layer of yourself to help your skin breath and stay really clean.

4. treat yo’ feet. just lotion and put some socks on and let it soak in. peppermint lotions are the best.

thats all for now…all this has me wanting to slather myself amb

oh yes it is! and i am in a cross continent race to the polls. usually half an hour is fine to get in and thru the airport for stuff but not at LAX! i went to the wrong terminal and now i have to wait for the next flight to nueva york which arrives at 7:38, and then book it to harlem to vote! if you don’t know what to vote for today, our key states are covered in voter guides at www.indyvoter.org…and new york ended up not being a key league state this year, but here’s info for voters wondering where to look for guidance, according to maria bacha:

• Gotham Gazette’s Guide For The Last Minute Voter includes info on all the races, the 4 ballot proposals, where to vote and more.
  • http://www.gothamgazette.com/article/issueoftheweek/20051107/200/1633
       

• Juan Gonzalez Analyzes Race, Class and Progressives in the New York City Mayoral Race
  • In an interview with Amy Goodman on Democracy Now, http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=05/11/03/1545251
  • in article,  "Where Have All the Fighters Gone?",  http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=05/11/03/174925

ACTION..

There are more than 1.3 MILLION New Yorkers of voting age who can’t participate in our local democracy…

Raise your voice so that others can be heard!!! Support the E X P A N S I O N of voting rights to
tax-paying non-citizen immigrants!!!

Join us for a Press Conference and City Council Hearings on the Voting Rights Restoration Act (Intro. 628)

Date: Monday, November 14th
Press Conference: 9:30AM on the steps of City Hall
Hearings: 10:00AM - 1:00PM at 250 Broadway (across from City Hall), 14th Floor Hearing Room
Directions by Train: 1/2/3/9/A/C/J/M/Z to Chambers Street, N/R to City Hall, or 4/5/6 to Brooklyn Bridge

For more information, contact Cheryl at cherylatnice@yahoo.com or (718) 205-8796.

The League NY’s own Maria Bacha has been invited to testify. Lets roll as a big crew! Call Maria at 347-729-3564 to join.

No taxation without representation.

Participation = Power

-

in other news, yesterday i got to kick it with watts community organizers aqeela and treisha and see the neighborhoods they organize, plus aqeela’s developing community art space and book store, and the offices of the community self determination project, really amazing work and community entrepreneurship. aqeela helped broker the peace treaty between the bloods and the crips in l.a. and his story is inseparable from the history of watts, including last year’s murder of his eldest son. he is an inspirational for real, and we need to be bringing in our own bank. to that end, check out their cd at  www.wattsrecords.com - its REALLY REALLY good, all watts-based artists. if you’re looking for gifts for the upcoming season of getting and giving…

and then last night i got to go out with a hard core direct action crew as they practiced large scale projections and it was pretty fucking awesome. they get these projectors that can cover the side of a building with a message like 2000+ killed for iraqi oil, for instance, and i got to watch the troubleshooting process of these genius technical organizers. my work with ruckus really inspires and excites me, as i see more and more each day just how important the direct action piece of our work is with these fools trying to get at us. plus they know how to give massage, order good pizza and other fun loving pleasure activist activities!

and had a great conversation yesterday with an organizer i respect probably more than anyone else in the country, he broke me off some knowledge and some guidance for self-reflection. accept the call, accept the call…this is a time for LEARNING.

wish me luck getting into ny in time to cast my vote y’all!

oh and a shout-out to gavin who has been inspired by my blog to start his own!! gavin is a no joke organizer in cincinnati, ohio - check him out: http://gavinleonard.blogs.friendster.com/

afloat on the depth of alabama, i trained today in santa cruz at the top of a mountain that looks down toward the sea. we trained the history of direct action and the basics of good direct action. i got to use a training celeste recently put together, it was exciting to watch all the ideas come to life. we opened and closed with group singing and we created a direct action. diane wilson, 5th generation shrimper and hard core activist on the lam from texas po-po {longer story!}, called and volunteered to do a direct action and get arrested if we came up with a good one, and i daresay we did. i’ll let you know how it progresses!

this training was couched in between the opposing bookends of transportation experiences. on one end, there was the 11:05pm arrival in san jose followed by the rental car shuttle to a rental car desk with no one behind it because it closed at 11 and then the rental car shuttle back to terminal 3 and then waiting for the hotel van before calling the hotel and discovering by the laughter of the person on the other end of the phone that the vagabond inn ‘don’t have no shuttle honey, not a-one’, which was followed by going out to the taxis, getting in the warmest one, and going to the vagabond inn which had no atm machine but did have a hot tub and where i had to convince a very annoyed cab driver to take my credit card while the still-laughing desk clerk started laugh-cursing at her frozen computer which did not unfreeze at any point during my waiting and eventually pleading for the key to my room which i finally got and when i lay there with my lap top and had to call the desk clerk to get the passcode for the hotel wireless, she laughed again and said she could give it to me over the phone or i could come and get it and i realized the ridiculousness of the day just had to end. but that was only last night cause when i woke i was in a hotel with no transportation of my own and three hours to figure out breakfast and how to get to santa cruz. i ate at denny’s for the first time since the whole ‘denny’s is da kkk’ incidents and i have to say: banging overeasy eggs (i am freshly inducted into the runny yellow sophisticates club) and country fried steak and nice buttery pancakes, which equates to two thumbs up, though those thumbs wilted once i hopped in the post-denny’s taxi service and he took me to the rental car hut where they told me my reservation was cancelled when i didn’t show up by 11pm even though they had my flight arrival time as 11:05 on the reservation - BASTARDS - and then there was no atm and the driver wouldn’t take my card so we then spent the next 45 minutes driving around san jose looking for an atm so i could pay the quickly growing fee, then go in the rental car center and nearly cry in the arms of a friendly big-haired alamo car rental queen (and since it was parenthetical in life i will add it so here: at some point i called the santa cruz airporter and made a reservation for Immediately but the cab driver refused to take me back to the airport to try an atm there because he would get ‘fined a lot ok young lady’, so i missed the reservation and thus had to try and rent a car again) and the only car they had was an suv and i made the argument about how i feel on suvs and she shrugged a royal shrug and said ‘well honey that’s all i have right now and i think you need to be on your way,’ which was totally true so then i had to book a golden suv down the gorgeous winding drive from san jose to santa cruz. to chaminade. which is a resort that looks and feels like the name sounds. the onomotopeia (sp??) of luxury landscaping.

but the drive out of there was ablaze with good vibes and good music, shared with co-trainer sharon lungo. i took the wheel about 3.5 hours out and i think we made it in 2.45 cause i have the need for speed. we stopped to meet with her spiritual uncle, fred, who was wonderful. he introduced us to his 91-year old mother who was witty and strong and beautiful with us. sharon told him i sang and he asked me to sing a song there on the spot and i sang amazing grace cause the mama liked religious songs, and he then told sharon i should learn peyote ceremony songs, so we listened to those on the drive too. beautiful songs! and then prince! and then madonna!

and now i’m in l.a. at the activista house - anjali i emailed you! hoping to see asif, kyle, bernard, davey d and celia…fingers crossed. i’m sure this will be another adventure

i’m sitting in the birmingham airport, waiting for a flight to san jose where i will drive to santa cruz, train at the women’s donor network, then drive to l.a. for a couple of days learning large scale projection direct action skills.

i had to take a moment to write about the amazing experience i just had at the gathering of the elders, called by harry belafonte - i was invited by malia lazu. there was a lot of meeting and speeches, elders sharing their stories, young people feeling the pace in their spines. we had a sacred fire given to us and i got to watch my brothers biko, khari, david, kwabena, carey and others keep the fire going for the three days. it was a beautiful fire - a prayer fire, a pain fire - we took turns throwing our pain in.

the elders included folks who’d sat at the lunch counters, who sang freedom songs, stood up to gang violence, led the birmingham-selma march, all in the room with folks i now consider family, and also happen to be the groundbreaking activists of this next phase of movement. it was a passing of  the torch and i brought ashes from the sacred fire with me to keep in my home. when i got asked in the closing cirlce to sing for the group, i sang my lord what a morning - you’ll hear the elders call the wake the nations underground, i’m looking to my god’s right hand as the stars begin to fall. you’ll the hear the youth rise up and say here i am, we are the nations underground, and i’m looking to my babies’ hands when the stars begin to fall.

after three days in the woods, with the lake and the smell of alabama earth where our indigenous family had left ancestors, where my people had left ancestors - on black owned land, worked by black farmers, we came together and honestly we spent much of the time feeling the distance between us and praying, healing together to cross that distance when strategy discussions couldn’t do it. we were focusing in large part on youth incarceration, as our current movement builders, many of them, are behind bars.

i let go of some pain i didn’t know i was carrying, i let go with tears and song and holding people. on the last night one brother learned his grandfather was transitioning and i got to give him a chain of shells i’ve carried from the south pacific, they were made to protect. its amazing in particular the pain that can exist between men and women, the violent experiences, the distrust we let color our interactions because of past pain. but i see this as a time of rising above expectations in the personal realm, rising above the weaknesses of flesh and meeting each other on a higher realm, holding each other in that space and being honest about what we think must happen.

folks were talking about the ills of our current society and how we need to get down to business, but i felt this huge patience rise up in me, the kind that only responds to great urgency. a reminder crept into my soul, that we have to be patient and loving and forgiving with those we claim to love, and as diane nash taught us, we have to release the concept of enemy if we hope to overcome oppression. i sat across from kathleen cleaver, from rose sanders, i danced with harry belafonte - oh the life in those people. who they have touched. i left that place so centered in myself, and then got to the airport and had to stand, legs apart, patted down intimately - i can’t let it hurt me that a black woman can get a job doing that to me. i have to love her.

i’ll have pictures once i develop them, forgot to bring my digital camera so i had to get some one time use ones, but i still got the pictures.

i’m looking forward to this night alone in san jose, where i have never been. i am looking forward to the work i have to do.

peace - adrienne maree

spent the day sunbathing in the nude with my sister and steaming! oh the russian baths…please stop avoiding them and go, wednesdays is ladies only!!

this makes me smile:

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/georgie.htm

you can drag him around with a mouse!

today there was a big gathering in union square of young people against bush and hot 97 wanted to play an advertisement for it and got shut down…trying to find out more…

heading for alabama tomorrow - possibly to sing a lot